the Boy Tit Finale Summer Collection

5 many ways to fight v2 FOR WEB

Dear Boy Tits,

I love you dearly and yet it’s time for us to part. These outfits are my dedication to you: fashioned from thrift store tugs of war with old ladies, raiding my partner’s closet and crossing back and forth between gender segregated clothing aisles.

15 you are beautiful FOR WEB

Every single moment of the last thirty seven years you’ve stayed loyally by my side (or at my front, as it were). You’ve cushioned my heart from many blows and boyantly helped me stay afloat through stormy years. We’ve played many a silly game together, like pretending you’re puppets talking with each other, or bouncing you up and down until you slap each other on the back like old men at the bar.

8 make your own party FOR WEB

I know it’s not your fault that this gender confused world has mis-read me as a woman because of you. There’s actually nothing about you that means girl or boy or anything in particular. It’s just that I feel like I’m wearing someone else’s chest, and even though it’s a gorgeous chest, it’s doesn’t feel like mine.

20 wear it however you want FOR WEBSo, it’s time for us to part, but please know that you are stunning and sexy and loveable. Many another boy or girl or genderqueer would be lucky to have you that close to their heart.

All my love, Sunny

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Thanks to Tania Anderson, the incredible photographer, Janet Vu for the David Bowie makeup, (m)-elly niotakis for being the first to suggest a David Bowie concept and Chanelle Gallant and Afi Browne for letting me raid their closets for accessories & those stunning zebra print boots, and Leanne for use of her space.

—  A retrospective of other Boy Tit related posts: —

boy tits photo B&WBoy Tits in the Locker-room

I’ve recently started taking my shirt and binder/sports bra off in the men’s locker room. It didn’t begin from a desire to flash my boy tits around, rather that I was fed up with the incredibly awkward configurations I used to twist my clothes in to hide these bouncy little babies. Moreover, I was incredibly bored by transphobia and cis-sexism*. Read more…

boy muff photo b&wBoy Muff in the Public Pool: this budgie will not be smuggled

I’m busy preparing my boy-muff for a swim in the local public pool after I was inspired by a letter I received from a trans woman in response to my recent article… Read More

 

article-1166157-0433AC7F000005DC-43_634x357National Security Threat: Boy Tits at the Airport

The sagging sagas of the boy tits continue… I’m on tour in the USA and it seems the new body scan machine has replaced the old metal detector Xray machine in most US airports. For the second time this week, my boy tits raised the alarm on the body scanner. Read more…

Fur edited Sunny2Boy Tits take on the Summer

With the change of seasons I noticed myself starting to angst over the thought of another summer wearing a sweaty binder[1]. A titillating thought: as this will be the last summer I have boy tits before chest surgery in October, why not bust out of the binary and give them the flamboyant good-boobye they deserve?! They are, after all, a beautiful part of my body that I love and want to celebrate. Read more…

Some other popular blog articles:

Racism is to White People, as Wind is to the Sky

Femme Ally Conversation Starter

2 articles on sobriety: Wet >< Dry and The Brandy is Just for the Zit in My Throat

Like Sunny Drake on facebook, follow on Twitter or instagram, connect on Linkedin

Check out video, photos, theatre shows and workshops on Sunny’s website

 

National Security Threat: Boy Tits at the Airport

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The sagging sagas of the boy tits continue… I’m on tour in the USA and it seems the new body scan machine has replaced the old metal detector Xray machine in most US airports. For the second time this week, my boy tits raised the alarm on the body scanner.

Security guy:      “Sir, I’m going to need to pat down your chest. Arms up.” (Pat. Pat pat pat…. Pat pat pat… pat pat pat) Sir, what’s this at your chest? Are you wearing a jacket or something under your shirt?”

Me:                  “no.”

Security guy:    “arms back up” (pat pat pat pat pat PAT PAT PAT PAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT).

Me:                  “look, I’m transgender (insert basic transgender 101 definition using cis-sexist language I would NEVER use to describe my body).

Security guy:    “oh”  (literally leaps back, says hurredly to security lady) “maybe you should get this one”

Security lady: “but….”

The security lady and guy do perfectly synchronised head movements as they stare first at my face, then at my chest, then back at my face, followed by matching drop of their jaws, then coordinated nudges, each trying to push the other one forward to deal with me. They really couldn’t have choreographed this better if they’d had months to train. Not since I told my male gym teacher in high school that I had my period have I seen such confusion and discomfort on the face of an authority figure.

Security lady mutters to security guy:        “let’s just put… (mumbled pronoun)… back through the scanner”

Second time through the scanner, yup, these boy tits are still perilous. A scuffle ensues between the security guy and the security lady – clearly they are unsure who should give me the second pat down and finally the security guy turns to me, face bright red, and says “keep moving. Next!”.

Did I just find my new “get out of gym class” card?! “Mister, I have my period” doesn’t work any more since this cis-sexist world wouldn’t believe it possible that I could have or ever have had a period. It might be time for a change of tactics: “Mister, my boy tits are sore”.  In that moment when the security guy asked the first time what was under my shirt, could I have just said “boy tits, I’m a transsexual”, rather than awkwardly let him go back in for the second pat down with my futile hopes that he’d decide my chest was just gorgeously chubby?

I’m curious how the body scanner machine works. I’m assuming the security guard must press a button to get it to either scan you as a “man” or “woman”. But many cisgendered (non-trans) men have man-boobs, so do they get pulled over and patted down too? I doubt it, or there’d be long hold-ups in the security line. So I guess the machine must look decide what proportion of your body should be chest vs stomach vs thighs etc. So who decides what the right proportions are? And how do we each participate in this, even without meaning to, buying into these ideas of what a “man’s body” or a “woman’s body” should look like?

After my first year on hormones when my body shape radically altered (my ass and hips flattened and I had to start wearing a belt like for reals) I was still a little insecure about the “love handles” on my waist, thinking that they would give away my trans-ness in situations where I didn’t want to be identified in public as trans. But when I started scrutinizing cisgendered (non-trans) men’s bodies, I began to notice such a massive variation in men’s body shapes. So many men have love handles, curvy hips, chunky asses and pear shapes. How many men actually have the “normal” man’s body? I’m gonna say probably not that many, particularly considering that the “normal” body is also seen as white. In the media and dominant racist cultural narratives in Canada, the USA and Australia (and beyond), white men’s bodies are just described as “bodies” compared to other men’s being described as “Black men’s bodies” or “Asian men’s bodies”, for example.

And in what different ways are different men treated for not having the “normal” man’s body? Well, it’s likely due to my whiteness that the airport scanner situation drew out the security guards reactions of confusion, embarrassment and awkward fear, rather than the racist hostility and violent fear that may have been dished out to Black or Arab trans men, for example, in the same situation. (See a beatuiful and harrowing poem by Amir Rabiyah – Transexual Militant).

I’d love to hear people’s ideas on how we can work, from the ground up, to transform our conceptions of bodies and make more space for a whole myriad of beautiful bodies. Because someone(s) clearly just made that shit up, so surely we can make up new ways of seeing bodies for all our glorious differences and our beautiful human fleshy similarities.

Some other popular blog articles:

Racism is to White People, as Wind is to the Sky

Femme Ally Conversation Starter

Boy Tits in the Locker-room

the Boy Tit Finale Summer Collection

2 articles on sobriety: Wet >< Dry and The Brandy is Just for the Zit in My Throat

Like Sunny Drake on facebook, follow on Twitter or instagram, connect on Linkedin

Check out video, photos, theatre shows and workshops on Sunny’s website

Boy Tits in the Locker Room

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I’ve recently started taking my shirt and binder/sports bra off in the men’s locker room. It didn’t begin from a desire to flash my boy tits around, rather that I was fed up with the incredibly awkward configurations I used to twist my clothes in to hide these bouncy little babies. Moreover, I was incredibly bored by transphobia and cis-sexism*.

I’ve also been thinking about appropriation of struggles – the ways that I have over-identified with and co-opted the struggles of trans people who are more marginalised than myself. There’s been lots of trans women who have written and spoken about the appropriation of the struggles of trans women of colour. They remind us that the vast bulk of violence faced by trans people is in fact faced by trans women, particularly those who are racialised, sex workers, poor and/or Indigenous. When I listen to my trans Elders, the people whom I owe my life to (literally – I couldn’t exist as trans without their AMAZING work in carving out space for us to be trans), it’s easy to assume that my experience with be the same as theirs. The reality is, it’s not. Firstly, things are already different. Their hard work has already transformed some things about the communities I live in (THANKYOU! I LOVE YOU! YOU’RE THE BEST!). Secondly, the very people who have been at the centre of the movements which I benefit from, also face trans-misogyny (the many ways transphobia and sexism are directed specifically toward trans women), racism, poverty, disable-ism etc.  As a white, mostly-able-bodied, trans man who passes** as cisgendered, I don’t face these things.

So I’ve started unpacking the difference between when I’m actually unsafe verses when I’m really just uncomfortable. The locker room I’ve been flashing my boy tits around has a trans inclusion policy. It says right there on the wall that the space welcomes trans people in either of the locker rooms. Not that policies always translate into action, but the fact that someone has put it there, makes me feel like there’s some warning that my trans body might be in there and also that someone onsite might have my back (or my tits, as the case may be).

This will be an ongoing juggle to differentiate actually unsafe situations from uncomfortable ones. Locker room late at night at a mainstream non-trans-policy gym where there’s only one other dude or a football team? Probably not going to risk it. I’ve already got a bunch of practice of the safety versus self expression dance – as an effeminate trans man, I’m used to the “speed up my walk” moment or put my sort-of-butch-jacket on over my frilly pink shirt with matching frilly pocket square or turn my sparkly earring and rhinestone studded handbag away when passing men on the street late at night.

The more I watch and test the waters, the more I realise that for a relatively privileged trans person such as myself, probably the worst thing that’s going to happen in response to my boy tits wobbling around the men’s locker room, at a place that’s intentionally developed a trans inclusion policy, is some shocked stares and dropped jaws. A few years ago (actually even a few months ago), this would have devastated me. I would have spiraled into internalised transphobia, that nauseous feeling that there’s something wrong with me. That I’m weird. Broken. Yucky.  Unloveable. Sick. I would have felt emotionally AND physically unsafe as well as uncomfortable. Like I was about to attacked. Like I had in fact, been attacked. It’s not that I’m suddenly immune to these bouts of fear and self loathing, particularly given that I am a survivor of sexual assault, but the more I practice, whilst finding it a little tedious, boring & uncomfortable, the more I see it as an opportunity to cultivate self love AND slowly transform the world, one boy tit at a time. So I want to see more space for a whole range of bodies? Well, sometimes my political essays and rants can be written in my body. All I need to do, is be there, boy tits and all, and I’m already changing shit.

I recognise that it is through my privileges that I can do this, and also that I’m creating space for a particular type of trans experience. I’m not saying that exposure to my white boy tits will necessarily carve out space for trans women’s bodies, or racilialised trans men’s bodies or genderqueer bodies. Nope, I’m not at the centre of transforming our world and neither should I be. I’m two buoyant tits, floating in an ocean of change. And for what it’s worth, these tits are gonna sail proudly above the waves whenever they can.

Cisgendered people (ie, people who are not trans) – please be mindful of your cis privilege before telling your trans friends “well my trans friend Sunny said you’re not actually unsafe, just uncomfortable” or “you should love your body” or any other well intentioned declarations about how trans people should or shouldn’t feel about our bodies or what steps we should and shouldn’t take to be safe. Let’s remember that the same situation can be experienced very differently by two different people, not to mention that two different people will be treated differently. Although I also get that it’s complex when we’re talking about intersecting struggles – like I think there’s a place for cisgendered women having their trans sisters’ backs by calling trans guys on appropriating the struggles of trans women.

I’d also ask cisgendered people to remember that it takes a lot of work to deal with transphobia and cis-sexism when they arise and battle through internalised transphobia. I have the capacity for that work right now. And I choose to take on that education work.  I choose for my boy tits to be my curriculum, my wordless political essay in the locker room. Other trans people may be focused on other things, like battling the health care system, finding a roof under which to sleep or food to eat, dealing with their families, growing food, making art, surviving, throwing parties…

I’m not going to hide my beautiful trans body anymore, except when really and truly it would be physically unsafe. If it’s just uncomfortable, hell, so is trying to get changed balancing my bags off the floor in toilet stalls. So is the complex ballet of getting my clothes on and off without revealing my tits. So is living in a world that thinks my body is weird (or fetishizes it in unconsensual ways). So, frankly, I’d rather be uncomfortable WHILE creating more space for beautiful trans bodies through exposing more people to a myriad of ways men’s chests look. Besides, my boy tits deserve all the fresh air they can get, because as soon as I have surgery, I’m gonna start wearing a myriad of hot men’s bikini tops, because well, in addition to being tremendously transsexual, I’m also a fabulous flamer.

Until then, you have been warned: these boy tits will not be contained.

Follow up article: Boy Muff in the Public Pool: this budgie will not be smuggled

*Cis-sexism is the assumption that all people are or ought to be cisgendered (not trans) or that trans people’s identified genders are inferior to, less authentic than, or less natural than those of cisgendered people.

**Passing as cisgendered: unless my clothes are off, people don’t know I’m trans

Huge thanks to the love of my life, Chanelle, for editing and taking the photo!

Some other popular blog articles:

Racism is to White People, as Wind is to the Sky

Femme Ally Conversation Starter

the Boy Tit Finale Summer Collection

2 articles on sobriety: Wet >< Dry and The Brandy is Just for the Zit in My Throat

Like Sunny Drake on facebook, follow on Twitter or instagram, connect on Linkedin

Check out video, photos, theatre shows and workshops on Sunny’s website